A fucking life lesson

I like fucking.

I really enjoy fucking.

What I enjoy the most about fucking is being fucked. Being pinned down, either face down ass up or legs spread hands choking my neck; either way I really enjoy being fucked.

I know the way men look at me when they think no one else is looking, or when they message me on websites or apps like Snapchat or Tinder. I make myself available to then because to them our interactions are private and they are finally free to be attracted to someone who makes them feel desired and wanted in ways they like, because they make me feel desired and wanted in ways I like.

It’s an exchange.

To them I’m not the kind of girl you take home to your parents, I’m not the kind of girl you’d introduce to your friends. I’m the type of girl you don’t marry.

I fuck men because I like them fucking me but I only love fucking men who love fucking me and know why I want them to fuck me.

I love fucking.

There is no shame in that.

But there is more to life than just fucking. I’m more open now, more than ever because I won’t change who I am. I may just change how I am.

I now know a little more about who I am.

Life lesson learned this week.

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Your Rope

There is a comfort here

In the welcoming white smile

With soft cushioned lips

Pulling, pushing, teasing…

Running my fingers across you

The curve and dip of each muscle

Softened skin surrounding

Wrists held back with strength

Your supple hands guiding

Gliding and caressing me

As I feel the fibres…yes…

As they tighten…

There is only you & me now and…

…your rope

My coming out story

I was seeing my first girlfriend when I was in school, aged 15. We kept it secret from everybody, including the few friends I had because we were scared how they’d react.It was 1996/7 and although we had a few open LGBT celebrities it was not something that a lot of people spoke about, especially at school or at home because of our religion. HIV was still seen as the ‘gay disease’ and lesbians were viewed as ‘butch women trying to be men’, and we were teenagers left confused by the way we felt about each other.

I lived in a religious household and not only did I feel guilty about what we were doing but also hid it from everyone until I had moved out of home at 16. 

I remember playing the ways I was going to tell them so many times, but one Sunday, when I went round for a family meal the opportunity came so I just took it. 

When I told them that I thought I was with a girl and that we were in love, that I was gay, my mother told me that I was ‘disgusting’ and that I ‘shouldn’t say things like that’ and that I better not tell anyone because it’ll make our family look bad. She started shouting at me and I cried knowing that I should’ve just kept my mouth shut. My step father got really angry and told me that I was just saying that to provoke a reaction and to take it back. Even my sister said the same, that I was trying to be ‘cool’ and tried to get me to tell her the girl’s name. I didn’t. And even to this day only a handful of people knew. I was devastated.

We didn’t talk about it ever again because I knew that if I was even to attempt to that I was going to be shouted at or worse.

The guilt was so bad that I ended up splitting up with the first person I’d ever loved. We both had no experience of what we were going through and left us both a mess.

Even now I am faced with ridicule for being openly pansexual. The amount of times I’ve heard ‘you have sex with pans’ or ‘you’re just bisexual then, greedy’ from friends, family members and even strangers online.

But…

I am so proud of who I am today. 

Gender and sexuality are unique and personal, don’t make it your place to judge because we’re all just human. 🖤

Sting

Bend over…

Slap

Thank You Sir

Sting

Slap

Thank You Sir

Sting

Slap

Thank You Sir

Sting

Slap

Thank You Sir

Sting 

Slap

Thank You Sir

Sting

Sting

Sting

Sting…

Thank You Sir

Umph….

And so my new chapter begins…

Time has come where I’d like to start making a proactive search for a primary. The last 6 months have been a much needed explorative and introspective time for me and now I feel comfortable and happy in whom I have grown to be. I am happy playing with those who bring me smiles and positivity, but I now have a craving for something more, something deeper.
So off I go on a journey, hopefully my new path will lead me to someone to guide and support me in becoming the best version of myself so I can bring support and pleasure to our primary relationship and their being or becoming the best version of themselves

Whether it takes months or even years, for once I don’t feel nervous or or desperate, I only feel excitement and happiness.

International Women’s Day

As a woman, I have spent 36 years in this rock we call home and my freedoms and opportunities come from generations of men and women who have pushed for equality and recognition of women throughout our history. 

I am not free of struggles or barriers even in 2017, but I am incredibly grateful for those who have fought so I am able to freely express myself, to be who I choose to be and live the life I choose to live.

I feel the restrictions and stigma put on my by society to conform to a stereotype, and often am abused or berated by people for the lifestyle choices I make, whether sexually or otherwise. But I stand by my rights as a human being to live how I choose to live.

Being a woman isn’t just about being a gender, it’s about being a human being and having the same rights and choices as all other human beings should have.
So thank you to all of you who have fought or are still fighting. 

Thank you to the beautiful human beings I am surrounded by and have been before me.

We are beautiful, we are strong, we are capable and we are powerful. I am proud to be a woman and I am proud to be me.

Messaging A Kinky Woman

1. Don’t just simply message ‘Hi’
I know that not all of us are confident alpha types but I’m sure you can manage to type something a bit more stimulating than one word. As a woman, I do get messages quite often, it’s the ratio, and so if you’re not going to fall through the cracks you need to make a bit more effort.

2. Don’t expect to be the only one I’m messaging

I am not monogamous.

I am not monogamous 

I am not monogamous 

3. Don’t expect me to reply the second you do.

I work incredibly hard, my life is my career and that won’t be changing any time soon so please know that if you’re messaging me and I’m able to reply that’s because I’ve chosen to reply when I have the time to engage with you.

I am not someone you should worry about, I have days when I like to my soeak to anyone at all. So if you’re constantly messaging you will become irritating to me. No offence but I am not your girlfriend, and I have no intention of being either. I have no intention of being anyone’s girlfriend.

4. It isn’t always about sex

Just because I’m a member of a sex site or a site like Fetlife, doesn’t mean all I want to do with you is talk about sex or get each other off everytime we chat. I am a human being with more substance to me than a pussy and a pair of tits so maybe find something else to talk about if I don’t seem ‘in the mood’. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy talking dirty 90% of the time, but I do have vanilla moments especially when at work or travelling.

Remember, I’m not just a toy, I’m a human being.