Open Relationship, Polyamory

Why I’m allowed to play with others

I think about sex probably every few minutes of every day. I don’t know why, I’ve never really questioned it, but I know that the way my mind works differs to that of a lot of people I’ve met and interacted with over the years.

When people say ‘I love a really high sex drive’ I always screw my face up in a ‘hmmm really? Do you really?’ kinda way.

I have had a high sex drive since it first kicked in during puberty. It’s only ever been lowered when I’ve been on medications. Even during depression it’s higher than average and I have not so fond memories of cry wanking way too much. Yes, girls cry wank too.

I’m not some special snowflake, I’m aware that because of the mighty hormone testosterone, males have a higher sex drive naturally and certainly do think about sexual desires a lot, but what baffles me the most is that mine, as a female, seems to build into a force that is almost unbearable.

On paper, having a submissive with a high sex drive is a Dominants dream. They can control it, play with it and take it to it’s limit, but in the cold harsh reality of every day life, it’s not. It’s frustrating, it’s demanding and it’s why he allows me to play with others.

Playing with others outside of our D/s keeps my appetite satisfied. It’s intense, it’s sensual, it’s dirty, it’s kinky, it’s whatever it wants to be.

I spoken to a lot of submissives who are scared to ask their Dominants about play partners, and I can see why. If you’re not used to or aware of how poly or open relationships work, then this can be a red flag. ‘Isn’t it cheating?’, ‘Am I not enough’ and the ugly green jealousy raises her head. More on that topic another time!

It’s not, but it can be is always my answer.

The dynamic you have with any partnership is unique to all it’s players. Your Dominant, like mine, can insist that no dominant rules are used and that only scenes are ok. This to be honest makes sense because how the hell can you be ruled by potentially too opposing Dominants! Also, for those, like me, who have fetishes or kinks that your Dominant isn’t into then you can explore these with others. Not only is this healthy, but it can, more importantly, be REALLY fun.

So why do I play with others? Because I like to.

Why does my Dominant let me? Because I like to.

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