BDSM, Kink, Open Relationship, Polyamory, Self Love, sex, Woman

International Women’s Day

As a woman, I have spent 36 years in this rock we call home and my freedoms and opportunities come from generations of men and women who have pushed for equality and recognition of women throughout our history. 

I am not free of struggles or barriers even in 2017, but I am incredibly grateful for those who have fought so I am able to freely express myself, to be who I choose to be and live the life I choose to live.

I feel the restrictions and stigma put on my by society to conform to a stereotype, and often am abused or berated by people for the lifestyle choices I make, whether sexually or otherwise. But I stand by my rights as a human being to live how I choose to live.

Being a woman isn’t just about being a gender, it’s about being a human being and having the same rights and choices as all other human beings should have.
So thank you to all of you who have fought or are still fighting. 

Thank you to the beautiful human beings I am surrounded by and have been before me.

We are beautiful, we are strong, we are capable and we are powerful. I am proud to be a woman and I am proud to be me.

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BDSM, Open Relationship, Polyamory, Self Love

Compliment jar shouldn’t be empty

I love my body. Every inch of it is tells story. The tiger striped stretch marks, the cutting scars, the cellulite, the fat rolls, the brand, tattoos and piercings…even the ones you don’t see in pictures, like the scar on my head from a bottle being smashed or the old scarred marks from abusive relationships. They all make up my beautiful, wonderfully crazy looking body.

So when someone pays me a compliment, no matter who it is, I take it and place it in a glass jar in my mind. It’s a jar I started filling when I went through my process of rebirth. Trying to find out who I really was underneath all of the personas and bullshit I’d pulled over myself to hide he real me from the world.

That jar glows so brightly now from each and every one…From ‘you’re beautiful’, ‘I love your eyes’, ‘squidgy hehe’, ‘fuck you’re gorgeous’ to ‘your cunt feels amazing’.

Without that jar, I wouldn’t have the confidence to be myself. I would allow the abuse that I suffered over my life to affect me. I wouldn’t have rebuilt the strength that I lost and crawled back from my addictions and self destruction.

I wouldn’t be the real me.

So when you want to say something nice to someone, don’t hold back. Just say it. Say how you feel, say what you think. They might have a jar just like mine, but not as full because people didn’t think they would need a compliment because they ‘probably get them all the time’.

We are our own worst critics and when we criticise someone for trying to pay a compliment we are stopping that person from adding something beautiful to our jars.

Be yourself and let others help you realise who that person really is. Let them guide your thoughts positively rather than trying so desperately to cling on to the negative.

You are beautiful, you just need reminding.

XOXO

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Self Love

I’ve never been one of the ‘pretty girls’

I’m an exhibitionist. I post a lot of photographs and selfies on Fet because I love the attention, the appreciation and the validation it provides. This isn’t because I’m a vacuous self centred bitch, but because it’s something I enjoy and I use to help me build on my self worth.

I’ve never seen myself as being one of the ‘pretty girls’, the ones who walk into a bar and instantly you know that eyes are on them. They don’t struggle with attracting people, but that also doesn’t mean that they’re always aware of it either. I know plenty who have issues wth their self worth, but to the general public look like they should be on the cover of a magazine.

I’m aware that I don’t look like I’ve been hit by a spade, but I’ve never relied on my looks to get me anywhere or even been approached at a bar like I’ve seen many of my friends and others. I’m the type of girl who finds people through other ways, relying more so on my personality than my physical charms.

This changed when I found the BDSM scene.

I had no idea that people would find me attractive like they do, honestly. I had no idea that people would want to treat me like a goddess and tell me how absolutely fuckable, kissable and attractive I was.

So thank you to the BDSM community and the wonderful people I’ve met since I first found myself just over 15 years ago. Thank you for opening eyes and exposing people like me to themselves, their bodies and their own unique beauty. Thank you also to M, my Dominant and partner who, 2 years ago, picked me up, stripped me down and has helped me find myself again. Without him I would have probably ended up a statistic.

I’m still discovering myself and my self worth, and will be building on that for years to come. But in this moment, writing this, I’m happy to be me.

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