I love my body. Every inch of it is tells story. The tiger striped stretch marks, the cutting scars, the cellulite, the fat rolls, the brand, tattoos and piercings…even the ones you don’t see in pictures, like the scar on my head from a bottle being smashed or the old scarred marks from abusive relationships. They all make up my beautiful, wonderfully crazy looking body.
So when someone pays me a compliment, no matter who it is, I take it and place it in a glass jar in my mind. It’s a jar I started filling when I went through my process of rebirth. Trying to find out who I really was underneath all of the personas and bullshit I’d pulled over myself to hide he real me from the world.
That jar glows so brightly now from each and every one…From ‘you’re beautiful’, ‘I love your eyes’, ‘squidgy hehe’, ‘fuck you’re gorgeous’ to ‘your cunt feels amazing’.
Without that jar, I wouldn’t have the confidence to be myself. I would allow the abuse that I suffered over my life to affect me. I wouldn’t have rebuilt the strength that I lost and crawled back from my addictions and self destruction.
I wouldn’t be the real me.
So when you want to say something nice to someone, don’t hold back. Just say it. Say how you feel, say what you think. They might have a jar just like mine, but not as full because people didn’t think they would need a compliment because they ‘probably get them all the time’.
We are our own worst critics and when we criticise someone for trying to pay a compliment we are stopping that person from adding something beautiful to our jars.
Be yourself and let others help you realise who that person really is. Let them guide your thoughts positively rather than trying so desperately to cling on to the negative.
You are beautiful, you just need reminding.