BDSM, Kink, sex

Just because I’m Kinky

Just because I’m kinky doesn’t mean I want to have sex with anyone with a pulse. It seems that as soon as you mention you’re into the BDSM/Fetish/Kinky lifestyle, you’re open to the assumption that you’re ‘up for anything’ with pretty much everyone. It gets even worse when you mention you’re submissive!

Let’s get a few things straight.

1. Just because I’m kinky…doesn’t mean I want to have sex with you

I’m fussy. Like REALLY fussy, about who I wish to engage in sexual encounters with. They have to be on the same level as me sexually, I have to find them attractive and we have to strike a rapport. Just because I’m kinky, doesn’t mean I will want to fuck anyone else that has similar kinks or wants to try the things I’m into. I’m still a human being with likes and dislikes. You don’t lose that when you explore and live in this lifestyle.

2. Just because I’m kinky…doesn’t mean I want to have sex

I love sex, but I love really good sex with great people. Being kinky doesn’t mean that I automatically want to have sex in a play session. Sometimes I like the sensations it gives or I’m giving someone, whether it be serving them in some way non sexually or receiving pain because I need the release. Just because I’m kinky doesn’t mean I’m instantly going to want to have sex in every instance of intimacy. 

3. Just because I’m kinky and submissive…doesn’t mean I want to submit to just anyone

I’m a submissive, anyone who knows me will say that behind the facade is an innately submissive girl. That’s just who I am, and proudly so. This does not mean that I submit to just anyone. Gone are the days where submissives were respected in their role, where Dominants would value our choice and position. Nowadays any Tom, Dick or Harriet will call themselves Dom(me) and I’m expected to worship at their feet. It doesn’t work like that kids. Respect is always a given, but I’m not going to submit to someone unless we have an established trust and rapport. Just because I’m kinky and submissive doesn’t mean I’m yours.

4. Just because I’m kinky…doesn’t mean you can demand nudes

I’m an exhibitionist, I love showing off my body and I post a lot of pictures online or send videos to those I choose. This doesn’t mean that I’m fair game for people to demand pictures or videos from me for their own pleasure. It’s my body and my rules, unless you’re my Dominant, so demands of any kind are off the table. What I’ve also found is that men in particular are incredibly good at begging for them, to almost try to guilt me into sending images, either because they’ve chosen to send me a picture of their raging hard on, or because they think that because I post online that I’m going to give them what they want too. Just because I’m kinky doesn’t mean I’m going to flash my intimate parts or give you your own personal porn collections. I save that for people who I choose to do that with, people who respect me and my body. 

5. Just because I’m kinky…doesn’t mean I find all cock pics attractive

Cock shots are a funny thing to me. Cocks in general are fascinating but not something that turns me on as a single body part. For me, it’s all about the whole, the body and mind has to turn me on. Sending me a random pic of your hard on without any warning it either probably going to get deleted, laughed at or blocked if it’s persistent. Just because I’m kinky, doesn’t mean your cock is the be all and end all. There is more to you than your cock, in the same way that there is more to me than my tits or pussy. So try taking some great seductive shots of your face and body, or teasing eyes and your cock if you’re still determined. Your cock may be important to you, but it’s not too of my list, you are.

So just because I’m kinky, it doesn’t mean that I’m fair game for all things sexual. It also doesn’t mean that I’m not sexual either, it’s just that you need to understand that I’m still a woman, a human being, someone who likes to be seduced and made to laugh and talked to like I’m respected. I’m a submissive, not a piece of meat or a doormat.