BDSM, Kink

My Top 10 Dominant Traits

1. Communication

Keeping communication at the top ensures there is no room for misunderstandings or concerns, especially during a scene or when you’re long distance.

2. They care about your vanilla life

Asking about your day, asking how you’re feeling and actually listening is so important to me. I don’t want a Dominant that I just scene with, I want someone who values me and wants to share their life with me. I can’t be a robot and I don’t want one either

3. Sex isn’t always the focus

BDSM isn’t always about sex, especially for me. It’s about power play and the nuances of the relationship dynamic, not just about sexual gratification.

4. Aftercare is important

No matter what you’re doing aftercare should always be thought about and you shouldn’t think it’s ok to just drop a submissive when you’ve been physically or mentally engaged. It can be so damaging! For me it’s being held and stroked or being calmly spoken to until I’m back in a calm and safe mind set. Everyone is unique in their needs, but it should never be forgotten

5, Trust

If you can’t trust me then how can I learn to trust you? I don’t need my messages read or my every move monitored to provide you with the level of trust you need to be my Dominant. Unless it’s part of your dynamic, it’s really just overkill and shows massive insecurity which I have no time for in a Dominant. Also it goes both ways, if I feel that I can’t trust you because your communication or actions aren’t leaving. Me feeling secure in our dynamic then how can I trust you to hold my puppet strings?

6. Defensive arguments

Arguments happen, and sometimes they can be really healthy but when you’re manipulating the argument to become a blame game or become overly defensive then how are you meant to guide me?

7. Hygiene & personal care

I have to be attracted to someone to have any kind of relationship with them be it Ds of just a hookup, so as a Dominant I want someone strong in the mind and the body not someone who doesn’t look after themselves because how do I expect you to look after me? And vice versa.

8. Safety in limits

Hard limits are hard limits. They’re not their to test, they’re not there to be pushed, they are hard limits for a reason so back the hell off. Know the difference between soft and hard, soft you can push, hard isn’t budging. You’re not going to make anyone feel safe let alone a submissive if you’re not looking out for our safety.

9. Let me speak

I’m not a slave. I’m a submissive. There is a distinct difference and for a lot of people, especially those with little experience or a lot of experience with vulnerable submissives who didn’t know better, I am not a doormat for you to use and crush without any feedback or discussion. I’m a human being, and in order for me to respect and serve you I need you to respect and value me as a person. Let me have a voice.

10. I am unique

Not every submissive is like me and I am not every submissive. This list is a guide to who I am and what I am looking for, but like everything in BDSM it’s not a guide that everyone will agree with.

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kittenplay, Open Relationship, Polyamory

Dear kitten

I can see you shivering. It’s cold out there all alone. It’s dark and lonely, feeling lost. No one to pet you, to nurture you or to look after you. No one to appreciate you and accept you for who you are.

I know because I’ve felt the cold too, but I want you to know that I’m here. I’m here waiting for you. To take you under my paw and to look after you. To pet you and to guide you to be the best kitten you can be.

Come here kitten, into the warm and let me look after you…

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I hope one day that I will find a kitten to adopt. Someone who is playful, cute and willing to learn with me as I explore my Domme side
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Erotica

The box

The jingle gave her excitement away and she could see the smile in the corners of his mouth. Owner sat with a large black box on his lap, wrapped in white ribbon tied in a big bow.

‘My kitten is excited isn’t she hmmm’ he said as he tickled under her chin.

She giggled, letting out a soft ‘Mew’

He slowly pulled at the ribbon and held it up for her, teasing her as she pawed at it.

‘Such a beautiful kitten’ he said pulling the ribbon away. ‘ Now let’s see what’s in this box for you shall we?’

‘Mew!’ She replied, the bell jingling on her neck as she watched him slowly slip the lid off of the box.

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